The majority of people that start therapy are experiencing difficulties that are affecting them in their day to day lives. The aim of therapy , for most people, is to gain some insight into why they’re feeling the way that they are, eventually making these thoughts and feelings less overwhelming in order to live a more fulfilling life.
Therapy offers a safe and confidential space for you, the client, to grow. This relationship will likely be like no other that you’ve experienced and there’s a good chance that it’ll feel strange at first. With this in mind, I feel that it’d be helpful for me to share some idea of what to expect, what is expected of you, and how therapy help you live a fuller life.
The therapeutic relationship
The main difference between a therapeutic relationship and other relationships is that both parties are focussed entirely on the client. You will set the agenda and your therapist will work alongside you, encouraging you to reflect on your feelings in the moment in order for you to gain insight on how your thoughts and feelings affect how you live your life.
What to expect from your therapist?
Your therapists job is to provide a supportive yet challenging environment for you to grow. In order to do this they will, of course, bring expertise that may be useful but most importantly will be non-judgemental, warm, and understanding towards you. They will understand that you are the expert of your own unique way of thinking, feeling, and experiencing. They will not generally offer advice but instead will look to explore your thoughts and feelings to give you the opportunity to work things out for yourself in a safe space.
It’s really important to remember that your therapist is not there to judge you and it’s highly unlikely that they’ll be shocked by anything you may tell them. Your therapist will often focus on the here and now, how you’re feeling during your sessions, and they’ll look to openly discuss how you’re relating to one another. This may feel difficult at first but your therapist will offer encouragement and support so that, in time, these kinds of frank, open discussions become more natural.
What role do you play?
Therapy is different for everyone and there is no one way of working. It’s common to not really know where to start or to bounce around from one topic to the next and that’s okay. On the other hand, you may also come to therapy with a set agenda or specific subject in mind. To get the most out of therapy, it’s important to try to be present and not worry too much about what you bring to your sessions. Although content is valuable, your therapist will be listening out for any emerging patterns or themes with a strong focus on understanding how you think.
The more you put into therapy, the more you get out of it. At times it can be very tough, especially when exploring difficult emotions that you may find painful or embarrassing. These conversations can feel challenging and often frustrating, but they’re a vital part of the therapeutic process so try to be as open and honest as you can. You’ll also find that a lot of the work can actually happen between sessions, and just as there is no one perfect approach, there’s no set timeline either so remember to move at a pace at which you feel comfortable.